Full of faith, or having faith is the definition of faithful. Faith is essentially an act of trust or reliance on God. Rather than being passive, this leads to an active life of obedience to the one being trusted. At least that is what wikipedia tells me. But how do I live my life with faith? I am hoping that I can figure that out by blogging. 2008 really tested my faith! I had some wonderful things happen in my life (my son graduated and I gave birth to my 3 daughter). My baby was born 6 weeks early and stayed in the nicu for 11 long days! Most of the year I was in constant pain. During my pregnancy I herniated a disk in my lower back that required spinal fusion.
I often wondered during all of this where God was in my life!? I went through times of serious doubt. I was pregnant and not able to take pain meds. So at times the pain was all consuming. I prayed for healing and had other pray for me but yet I felt like God was not answering my prayers.
What I learned (or hoped that I learned) is that just because God doesn't answer my prayers the way that I want doesn't mean that He's not God. When the baby was in the hospital I would pray for the strength I needed to make it up to the 2nd floor and walk all the way to see her. I keep telling myself I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.
Looking back I see may blessing that came out of it. Many friends and family helped us out doing what ever was needed. Often some one would bring meals or come over and clean. I truly felt God moving through his 'body" of believers. My husband was another wonderful blessing through it all. He showed unconditional love even when it had to be hard. He cared for me and did so much above his normal (he is wonderful!). Since I couldn't do much but lay on my side I spent lots of time writing down Psalms when I couldn't focus long enough to read. Through it all I learned I could depend on God even when I didn't get what I wanted. I could depend on others even when it is very hard for me to do. I grew lots last year hopefully this blog will reflect me growing more this year.