anniversary

I haven't blogged much lately! If you can imagine I have been busy (2 babies can keep me very busy and it is not easy to type with one hand). This past week we celebrated our anniversary. I have been so busy and so emotional lately that I haven't done a very good job of honoring my husband. In fact I have not honored him at all. So this week we had some time where we reconnected and I was reminded what I love about him.

Here is my short list on what I love about my husband.
1. He love me like Christ. My childhood was not pleasant and I have a hard time with the love of a father. God has blessed me with a husband that loves me with a true love.

2. He is honest. I know that what he says is true.

3. He is a man of integrity. He loves God and always strives to do the right thing.

4. He is a loving father. He often takes over for me when I am at the end of my patience. Last night he spent about an hour getting the 1 1/2 year old to stay in bed.

5. He prays for me. What a blessing it is to me to hear my husband pray over the little things that are going on in my life (and the big).

6. He provides for his family. I can't remember when he last missed a day of work. He gets up every morning and works hard every day without fail.

7. He never gets upset with me when every thing is not done. (there are days when having 2 little ones makes it impossible to get every thing done :-))

8. He encourages me to spend time with friends and get out.

9. He cares for others. He helps when needed and is always ready to listen.

10. When I need him he is there for me. Last year was a hard year and he never complained about having to do so much when I wasn't able.

11. He writes me letters instead of giving me cards. (although he does that some times)

12. He got me mint meltaways, 2 books and flowers (plus the hand written love letter) for our anniversary. All of my favorite things! So my last thing would be that he knows what I like.

I thanks God for blessing me with such a wonderful husband. I know that I don't deserve him. MJ I love you! Even when I have a hard time showing you!!

Although I am memorizing Psalm 1 with my daughter I felt that God was leading me to do something on my own so I am joining with Beth at Power of Your Love to memorize this verse:

I am the LORD, and there is no other; besides Me there is no God: I will gird you, though you have not known Me.....Isaiah 45:5 (NASB)

Since I am trying to focus on the names of God I would try to break this verse down. I look up LORD which means Jehovah ("I AM", The One Who is The Self- Existent One). God never changes. His promises never fail. When I am faithless, He is faithful. (info taken from the Rose Publishing Names Of God chart). Since I really don't totally understand what it means to gird I had to look that up too. :-0
gird  /gɜrd/ Spelled Pronunciation [gurd]
–verb (used with object), gird⋅ed or girt, gird⋅ing.
1. to encircle or bind with a belt or band.
2. to surround; enclose; hem in.
3. to prepare (oneself) for action: He girded himself for the trial ahead.
4. to provide, equip, or invest, as with power or strength.

I love the thought of God surrounding me. I recently memorized Psalm 139 and there is a part that says that God will both precede and follow me. But when I read this verse I think that it means more to prepare for action. To power and strengthen. So today I pray that God will strengthen me and prepare me for his work.

"Soooo... there is this TAG: going around in Blogville, and I'm it! Yea, I love it!"
Thank you "Soooo... there is this TAG: going around in Blogville, and I'm it! Yea, I love it!"
Thank you Laurie for thinking of me! (Please visit her blog by clicking on her name.)

Here's the rule.I tell you seven things about me that you wouldn't know.Then...I tag 7 fellow bloggers to share 7 things we wouldn't know about them.

I am not very good at listing things about myself! So hopefully this goes well.



1. I like to smell (sounds strange I know). But it helps me create a mental image so you will often see me smelling my children. Just trying to capture that sweet baby smell. (besides when they stink ;-))

2. I love to gather ideas but I have a hard time implementing them.

3. I am very introverted. Although God is working on me there are still times when I have a hard time talking to people. Thats why I like spending time with my family and reading. :-)

4. I next to never buy anything for myself.......preferring to buy for my kids or husband. (unless its books)

5. my favorite season is fall. Just the thought of going to the apple orchard makes me happy.

6. I hate having my picture taken :-) but I regret not having pictures of me at the hospital with the babies.

7. I am not a crier. It takes a lot to make me cry comes! It must be from years of holding it all in.

OK so here are my picks
Deb at One Single Minute
Beth at I am Heading Toward my Destiny
godsown at My Journey
Sonya at Truth 4 the Journey
Peggy at The Power of Your Love

I know that I don't have 7 but duty calls so I will have to try to add more later!

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for:

1. That my girls are finally not sick. It feels like we have had a sick one for months.

2. I am excited and thankful that we are able to have a mini-day vacation. Another way that I am enjoying my husband working only 4 days a week.

3. I am thankful for Robins! Whenever I see them I am reminded that it is finally spring. At this time of year emotionally I really need spring.

4. I am thankful that my son and I have been getting along well the past couple of days. I continue to pray that we will have a good relationship and I would be able to show him the love of Christ.

5. My husband! Most day I am not thankful enough for him but I am blessed to have him. He a loving father, husband and brother in Christ.

19 years and a flashback

There was a time in my life when I never wanted to share my "testimony" because of all that I have done wrong and all the wrong that has been done to me. I think that it is one area where God has really been changing me. To go from a fear of what others may think to a fear (healthy fear) of what my Lord may think. 1990 was a census year, I was 17(soon to be 18)years old and had my first baby on this day (3/23). I have been trying to look back and see God in my life during that time. It is hard but I know that He was there.
I was homeless (at least thats what was checked on the census) living at a roach motel. My home life before was bad my dad and step-mom were using serious drugs daily. No one ever slept and my dad had to let me boyfriend move in (mostly for protection). I think that I wanted to be "good" and I would have loved school but when there is partying all night long it is hard to sleep, which makes it hard to go to school.
Many things transpired to make me leave in my 5 month of pregnancy. In the beginning we went from place to place. Where ever we could find to sleep. Finally ending up at a hotel with weekly rates and a small kitchen.
My boyfriend was way to young (althought he was older than me) and immature to handle having a pregnant girlfriend much less a baby. I was alone a lot of the time while he went out and played with his friends. I am sure all of this contributed to my codependency problem.
March 23 I was working (on month before my due date) when my water broke! I was so scared I had no idea what I was going to do. My boss gave me a ride to the hospital and I was left to have a baby. Things went fast once they hooked me up to the pec drip. I was only in labor 49 minutes. Through most of it I was blessed with a nurse that cared (which I was more attentive but I have no idea what her name is). Which was a good thing since my boyfriend left thinking that he has enough time to go out and celebrate with his buddies(he did manage to make it back just minutes before Z was born).
My life totally changed when I first held Z. He was so little (5lbs 3oz) and so cute. I wanted so much more for us! This was one of the turning points in my life. I knew that it would not be easy and it has never been. Although now I am blessed to be married to a wonderful man that adopted my son when he was a little boy.
We ended up in a program for teen moms and I worked, went to school and raised this beautiful child that God gave to me. I had lots to learn I didn't come from a home where things were "normal".
I still have lots to learn but I know that despite how hard it has been I would never change I thing. That's enough for today I will try to continue this later but now I am off to make birthday pancakes!!
Happy Birthday Zack!

shocked!

I am shocked that godsown choose me to recieve a blog award. I haven't been blogging very long (I still prefer journaling Shhhhh)so I don't really think to much about others reading my blog. This is also my first blog award. The more time I spend blogging to more I become addicted which leads me to the rules ;-)


Two rules accompany this award:

1. Confess 5 things you are addicted to.
2. Pass the award on to 5 deserving bloggers.

Five addictions: (in totally random order!!)


1.Bible study, with little ones it has been hard to make it to church every week so I am loving both Bible studies I am in. My dh can stay with the kids and I can enjoy drawing closer to God and having fellowship with other believers.
2. my husband having him gone so much over the past months has reminded me that I am really addicted to him reading!!!
3. I read 2-3 books a week plus my Bible and numerous blogs
4. my kids I am addicted to spending time with them, finding great ideas for them, teaching them about Jesus, reading to them, exploring life with them and just loving on them!!!
5. taking pictures some many wonderful memories to preserve

so now I am suppose to pick 5 bloggers! Not an easy task!

Five deserving bloggers:
1. Cristine at Journeying Forward. One of the few bloggers that I know in really life and one of the reasons that I felt lead to start blogging. She has encouraged me in ways that she may never know!


2. Sharon B. at Quiet Reflections. Many time her words have been just what I needed. Recently I was having a bad attitude about serving my family (it can get a little crazy here and no one was doing their jobs ;-)) and I read her blog about Dying to Self. Lets just say it was just what I needed to be reminded of my own need to die to self.

3. Angie at Bring the Rain! Angie is amazing she has been through a lot but she trusts in God thru it all. On nights when I have struggled with the pain of my past I have been blessed by reading her blog. I often find myself moved to tears but I am always reminded how Great our God is.

4. Sonya from Truth 4the Journey I try ever week to join her for Thankful Thursday. I need to be reminded to be thankful. She always has a wonderful list of things she is thankful for.

5. See Saw Faith at Focused on the Center I love her description of herself "I am silly, serious, confusing, confused, illogical, creative, messy, emotional and blessed beyond all measure." That alone is enough to make me want to read her blog because I can totally relate!!!


If you have received the award already, then just accept it as confirmation of your blogs impact.

Ultimate Blog Party 2009

My head is totally spinning!! 5 Minutes for Mom is hosting a blog party! I have checked out some great blogs! I have read tons this morning and there is no end! I am not even sure if I did this right but I sure gave it a try!

A brief introduction since it is after 6 and the babies will be up soon! I am wife to MJ and we have been married 11 years. We have 4 kids with really big gaps. Our first born is Z who is 19 on 3/23. Next we have M she is a wonderful joy and great helper to me. Then we have the double trouble :-) Z 19 months and A 8 months. I stay at home (ok the truth is its really hard to leave the house some days!!). I love to spend time with my family, read, journal (blog which I just started), crafts with the kids, I homeschool (only 1 right now), I am not very good at it but if I can find time I enjoy sewing and crocheting (I am just learning), and spending time with my Lord and Savior. I try to find joy in every day life! Even when I finally get ready and the baby spits up in my hair and all over my clean clothes! You would just have to see her little face after!

My wish list:
1. Ultra Chic Diaper Bag from “Made by Michelle” (I really NEED a new diaper bag!! and this one is just perfect!!)
2. $30 gift certificate to Christian Book Distributors Provided by: A High And Noble Calling
3. Melissa & Doug Role Play Dress Up Costume Provided by: Good for the Kids
4. $100 gift certificate to either Pedal Cars and Retro or A Rocking horse to Love
5. 2 Life journals Provided by: Mom’s Toolbox
6. $25 gift certificate from Amazon.com by Shoshana of Just Say these Words
7,8,&9 I would love any of the $50 Target gift certificates from Shoot-Me-Now, Agoosa, or beginner baby blog
10. The Dot Girl’s First Period Kit, (1) Before She Gets Her Period by Jessica Gillooly, PhD and (2) Scensibles Disposal bag 50 pack boxes
Provided by: Dot Girl First Period Products
I hate to admit it but my oldest dd is going to be 12 very soon. So I had to add this one to my list. I have been checking out their site and am impressed.

11. Pepsi Tote Full Of Loot Provided by: my Good Sense

12. Children’s “I’m An Author” Story Writing Kit
Provided By: Tara Brown
Details: Cherish Bound
another one I had to add for my dd she love to write books

13. #11 Aromatherapy book and a sampler of therapeutic essential oils Provided by: Jennifer at Oils For Wellness

I have just started learning about aromatherapy so this would be great.

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

During this week have been reading and studying the names of God's. I was reminded of a song that we use to sing in church. Its a great reminder when I get to sing the names of God in this song!!

You are the alpha, omega, beginning and end
You're my savior, messiah, redeemer, and friend
You're my prince of peace
And I will live my life for you.

Thankful Thursday

today I am having a struggle being Thankful (lack of sleep and days of sick kids). But I know that on days when I don't feel thankful I need to make a list :-)

1. I am thankful that I can hold A! My dear little one has not been feeling well and just wants to be held. I have to let go of some of the other things that need to be done and enjoy what a blessing it is to hold a wiggle baby. Even if it is hard to type with her one my lap :-)

2. I am thankful that my husband had jury duty on Tuesday and got done early enough that we could enjoy the day as a family. The weather was perfect! it was a beautiful day!



3. I am thankful that I can hear my daughters laughter. What a sweet sound.

4. That after years of praying my daughter has a wonderful friend.

5. I am thankful that God loves my children more than I do! It is hard to see them not feeling well or struggling with life but it is great to know that God cares about it even more that I do.

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

I picked this song for 3 reasons today.
1. I just got a book (I Would Die for You by B & D Higgins) about BJ Higgins that this song is based on.
2. The video I found has clips of The Passion. God has placed on my heart a desire to watch The Passion again.(I have said that I would never watch it again) I had a VERY hard time the first time (I was very angry to see how cruel people could be) but I'm praying that God will give me a different perspective when I watch it again.
3. Last but not least what a wonderful reminder!

"And I know that I can find You here
'Cause You promised me You'll always be there
Times like these, it's hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You're near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind"

Thankful Thursday

5 things that I am thankful for this Thursday

1. Date night! It has been way to long! Between my dh working out of town and Christian conferences (one for each of us)it has been a too long since we have had any time together so this Sunday we have my MIL lined up to babysit. Praying that every one keeps on the track to getting healthy.

2. The library and free days at the Children's museum. Like every one we are feeling the budget tightening so it is great to be able to have fun free stuff to do. The girls love the library and have tons of fun in the kids area. Games, puzzles, crafts and you get to borrow some new books to them it doesn't get any better. Then it is off to the museum for some more fun. WOW! They should sleep well tonight.

3. Antibiotics my little one had a ear infection and it is hard to have a little one in pain.

4. my camera I have not been thankful for having one. I have been a bit of an (mostly internal) complainer about it. So to day I am grateful that I have a camera and that it works.

5. I am thankful that I am sticking to my bible study (BSF). We're in Numbers (which is hard for me) but I am amazed at what God has been teaching me. Aaron being an example of our eternal High Priest really gives meaning to some of the reading I have done in the NT. What really stand out in my lesson is from Numbers 16:47-48 when Aaron intercedes for the people, "he stood between the living and the dead and the plague stopped" That is what Jesus did for me. He death on the cross keep me from death! Instead I have received Eternal Life. Praise God!

Prayer for my children

I missed last week at Pray for our Children! Not that I didn't pray for them but I didn't pray that God would guard their mouths. So since last week there were some issues with this.

This week I am praying that God would guard the words of my mouth and the mouths of Z and M. Since the youngest 2 don't speak I pray the my example for them would be glorifying to the Lord. Lord, let the words of my mouth be acceptable to you. Help Z, M, and myself to speak words that uplift. Lord may our words encourage one another and build each other up. Thank you Lord for the wonderful gift of speech you have given us!


Psalm 19:14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.

1 Thessalonian 5:11a Therefore encourage one another and build each other up

Names of God

Today as I was doing my Bible study questions one really stuck out to me. It was concerning Moses (Numbers 16) and how he knew how God was going to react to Korah. The question made me ponder how well I really know God. I know that I am saved but do I really KNOW who God is? I have a desire to study in depth who God TRULY is. Often I find myself reading quickly and just getting the the idea and not fully understand the depth what I am reading. I am hoping that this will get me to slow down and have a focus. So I am going to try to start at the beginning with:

Elohim is Creator in Genesis 1:1

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

What do I know of God as the Creator? I know I am daily amazed by how wonderful God's creation is. I see my babies grow and I am awed by how wonderful God formed them in my womb. I watch the baby learn to use her hands such a seemingly simple thing but the complexity of it boggles my mind.
I love this time of year when things are starting to grow. There is so much beauty in God's creation that I have a hard time finding words. This week I am going to take time out to meditate and read about God the Creator.

For this is what the LORD says—
he who created the heavens,
he is God;
he who fashioned and made the earth,
he founded it;
he did not create it to be empty,
but formed it to be inhabited—
he says:
"I am the LORD,
and there is no other. Isaiah 45:18

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

My God is Might to Save!! Today I need to be reminded that God takes me as he finds me.......all my fears and failures!! I surrender!

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for:
1. the nice weather outside...........I have been really needing to let some fresh air in my house and soul. With the kids sick and being cooped up all week it is wonderful to be able to let the breeze blow in.

2. My friend T. she is so helpful to me!! She offers all the time to take my daughter home from church group. Tonight I really needed the help and I am so thankful she was able and willing. She is also very encouraging to me too!!! I miss walking with her!!

3. The washing machine has been my friend this week. With a toddler vomiting all over I am glad that I have a washing machine and don't have to do it all (she managed to get lots of things soiled) by hand or lug it to a laundry mat.

4. My son. Some days it is hard to be with him but I am thankful for what a blessing he can be. Today we are battling so I am praying that God will use this for his glory!!

5. Creative outlets I started crocheting and have really been blessed with being able to create (even if its not much yet). I am thankful that God has made me with the desire to create things of beauty!

Word-Filled Wednesday

Psalm 86:11 Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

Thankful Thursday

I'm doing thankful Thursday again :-) This week in Bible study I realized that the best way to conquer complaining is to be thankful. Since my husband is gone again this week I have been having a hard time not complaining.

1. I am thankful that God has given me more patience to deal with my little ones. I held my 1 1/2 yo for 30 minutes before she stopped having a fit. It was great to not get upset, to spend time praying over her and just being able to enjoy holding her. After she was done she was joyful and we enjoyed so special quiet time together.

2. This weekend I am going on a womens retreat. I am thankful that my loving husband is able to care for the children in a way that I will have no worries for them. It is still going to be hard to leave the baby but I really need a time to get refocused on God. With DH being gone so much it has been hard to have time for Bible study.

3. I am thankful that my youngest is such a happy baby. I love that I can just look at her and she lights up with a big smile!


4. I am thankful that I got a new book! ("When Two Become One" McCluskey) It should be great for our marriage.

5. I am grateful to know that God loves me even when I feel VERY unlovable. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Galatians 2:20

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus
And when I am alone, give me Jesus
And when I am afraid, give me Jesus
You can have all this world, but give me Jesus

Every time I hear this song I am moved. When I am alone or afraid all I need is Jesus! The last line is my favorite.......you can have all this world, but give me Jesus. Lord, I pray that I live my life in a way the honors you. That you are all I need.

I Never Grew Up is celebrating one year of blogging by offering over $1200 in giveaways. Check out Vanessa's favorite companies who are all contributing to the birthday party.

I hope I win #3 I just love wooden toys!! But I haven't made it all the way through the list of giveaways yet!

Thankful Thursday

I am very thankful today so here is my list:

1. I am thankful that we are able to stay at home and spend time with my children. Today we are going to the Children's Museum which will be a fun adventure.

2. I am thankful that my husband cares about me and he shows it. Last night I had to run to the store (out of diapers not a good thing with 2 babies) and the roads were bad. He left church and waited for me at the store instead of going home. He was there to put stuff in the car and follow me home.

3. I am thankful that my son's girlfriend is going to teach me to crochet. I need a creative outlet.

4. Two babies that sleep well! I need that down time so it is a blessing that they both sleep so well!

5. My dd M has such a heart for God. I love that she prays for her friends and worries more about what God thinks than people. Last night she witnessed to a friend that she has had since she was a baby. She really cares about others and it is a blessing to hear her pray.

Because Babies Grow Up

Because Babies Grow Up is giving away a set of bean bags! I really need a set of bean bags and with 2 babies I just have not found the time to make our own. Go check out her site! It has some wonderful activities for little ones. We use lots of her songs in our circle time.
http://www.becausebabiesgrowup.com/2009/02/bean-bag-giveaway.html#comments

Louie Giglio

I was just out searching blogs and read one about Louie. I have a few of his video's and when I start to lose sight of How great our God is I watch one of his videos!

peace

My mind is always going. I can't sleep many nights because I am always running over some plan, a list of things to do, or thinking of what I should of done. Tonight I am up again so I pick up a devotional that I have been reading "101 Cups Of Water" by c.d. baker. It must be a God thing because what I read started out with "I can't turn off my brain"!!! He goes on to say "But nonstop thinking and analyzing cam be overrated, a way of tricking myself into believing I can control my world. I need to remember that I'm not really in charge of my life."
Is that what I'm doing?!? trying to control my world? When I stop to contemplate it I think that is what I am doing. My prayer tonight is from Psalms 46:10a Be still, and know that I am God. Lord I pray that you will still my anxious thoughts and remind me that you are in control. You are God.

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

This song remind me how much God loves me! And on Valentine's Day what could be better than to focus on the only perfect LOVE!!

Thankful Thursday

5 things I am thankful for this week:

1. Even thought it means that my dear husband is out of town I am thankful that he has work. I try to trust fully that the Lord will provide but I struggle.

2. I am thankful that I got a chance to see the ultrasound of my new grandson. It has been hard to accept that my son's girlfriend is pregnant but I an glad that the baby is healthy and doing well. I pray that God will be able to use this to reach my son and his gf. Thank you Lord for babies.

3. Craft time and paint. What a joy it is to explore crafts with my kids. Even if the 1 1/2 gets paint all over every thing. I am thankful that I am able to enjoy this time with them

4. Valentines Day........ok I know that it is a "hallmark" holiday but what a wonderful time to be thankful and loving toward our families. And most important it is a wonderful chance to show God's Love. I am thankful that we are having friends over to celbrate tomorrow.

5. I am thankful for my dd M who is going to be 11 1/2 tomorrow. She is such a joy to be around and I have learned so much from her.

Small Adventures in Our Daily Life

Due to all the cold and bad weather around here we have been in the house LOTS!! Trying to stay healthy. So this weekend we planned some family adventures. Looking back most of it was very simple but some best times are just enjoying time together.
So here is a glimpse of what we did this weekend. Friday my dh took M ice skating. My dd had so much fun. I got to stay home with the babies and read. I enjoy having time alone it isn't often that the house is quiet. Saturday we did some simple stuff around our house. First it was to Home Depot to make a Valentines box. It was a bit tricky but turned out sooooo cute. Tomorrow we are going to paint them. That should be an adventure by itself. Z really thought that the adventure was going to Home Depot. At 1 1/2 she wanted to touch every thing! She was very fond of some nylon rope!? Scary to ponder what was going through her mind at the time. Then we were off to the library. DH and I did our marriage study together well Z played in the kids area. She loves to explore the kids play area but most days we are too busy to spend much time there. She had lots of time to do puppets, puzzles and play with the train table. Then it was home for naps for all besides mom. I was able to sneak out and get some fun things for Valentines Day.
Sunday we went to church in the morning. We had a great time of worship. Then it was off to the Zoo!! I was a bit worried to go to the zoo in February but we had a wonderful time. Z was thrilled with all the animals. I love to see the joy on her face! It was a good thing she is so young though because otherwise I would have to explain why the bison was drinking the pee of the other bison?!?! Uck! I have no idea and don't want to try to explain that. We went to Rocky Rocco's after the Zoo. There use to be one closer to us that dh and I went to when we were dating. It was a great weekend together and very much needed. Life can get so busy.

crafty crow giveaway Monday

Wow another cool giveaway at Crafty Crow!!

http://belladia.typepad.com/crafty_crow/2009/02/giveaway-monday-bake-it-pretty.html?cid=146955148#comments

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
- John Waller While I'm Waiting

My dh and I have seen this movie when it was at the theater but after watching it again last night this song really spoke to me. I need to be peaceful while I am waiting on my Lord. Often I find myself getting anxious and stressed.

Thankful Thursday

Ok here goes this is my list of 5 things that I am thankful for this week:

1. I am thankful that my husband is coming home tonight. It is hard to have little ones and not have your husband around to help. Just having him for adult conversation is a blessing that I can take for granted.

2. I am thankful for the quiet of nap time! Yesterday was a rough day for Z she missed a nap and we all knew it. I am glad that she is able to get the rest she needs today and I can have a bit of peace to replenish my self.

3. I'm thankful for the wonderful time I get to have talking and reading God's work with my 11yo dd. She is such a joy and has so much insight. Its wonderful when you can have discussions with your kids.

4. I am thankful that with my husband out of town I got extra time to spend in God's work and reading Grace Based Parenting.

5. The last one is hard because my ds can be difficult at times but I am thankful that I have to chance to pray for him, talk with him, and spend time with him. I am thankful for a God that gives me the grace and strength to do it. I pray that God would help me reach his heart.

baby Ava 6 months old today

Ava having you get older is bittersweet. I love to see how much you have grown, in personality and size. I am amazed that God has brought us through us so much in this wonderful 6 months! Ava I worried about you so much before you were born and then those moments after you were born and you didn't cry was the scariest feeling that I have ever had. But God has a plan for you little Ava! He knew that you would do things in your own time and that the little baby girl that didn't want to eat would soon be eating whole bottles in record time. That the joy of hearing your first cry would be even more wonderful when I had to wait a bit to hear it. Now I get to hear you laugh and I love to see the wonder fo your personality. I still pray for you all the time but now it is with a trust that you are not just precious in my sight but in a Might God who is awesome to save!! Lord it is my prayer today that you let me led Ava to your wonderful love. Thank you Lord for what a wonderful blessing that she is to me! Help me to remember this time with her because I know that it goes by so very fast.

Her Cup Overfloweth: Muffin Tin Monday

Her Cup Overfloweth: Muffin Tin Monday

Muffin Tin Monday

Since they shared there are some repeats. Cheese, marshmallows, yogurt, apples, pb, grapes, pineapple, pears, apples, pears, grapes, cheese.

This was my first time trying a muffin tin meal and I have to say that my kids loved it. We went out and got new muffin trays so the kids could each have their own. Lots of fun.

Then Sings My Soul Saturday

When my sin is all that I can see
Your grace remains the shelter that I seek
And when my weakness is all I can give
Your gentle Spirit gives me strength again
And oh, the beauty of Your majesty
On the cross You showed Your love for me
Beautiful Lord - Leeland

Every time I hear this song I am reminded of what a wonderful gift I have been given from my Lord!! I pray that the His grace will remain my shelter.

crafty crow giveaway Monday

I just love going to Crafty crow daily! Today they are giving away vintage valentines and a wonderful book check it out!!
http://belladia.typepad.com/crafty_crow/2009/01/giveaway-monday-books.html

Psalm 139 (NLT)
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

I have the first 3 versus down! So now I am working on 4-6. I read the whole passage whenever I sit down to feed the baby. But I am going to focus this week on versus 4-6

Creating Space to Dance Together

When we feel lonely we keep looking for a person or persons who can take our loneliness away. Our lonely hearts cry out, "Please hold me, touch me, speak to me, pay attention to me." But soon we discover that the person we expect to take our loneliness away cannot give us what we ask for. Often that person feels oppressed by our demands and runs away, leaving us in despair. As long as we approach another person from our loneliness, no mature human relationship can develop. Clinging to one another in loneliness is suffocating and eventually becomes destructive. For love to be possible we need the courage to create space between us and to trust that this space allows us to dance together. - Henri Nouwen

Do I look to others to take my loneliness away!? I have come to realize that no one besides my Lord can take it away from me. I am spending time searching God's word for His truth regarding me. There is no where that I can go away form God. Even though God know every thing about me (He has examined my heart), He is still with me. What an amazing thought.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Psalm 25:16

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Luke 5:16
Today I am going to spend extra time in prayer and work on memorizing Psalms 139!

Thankful Thursday

I'm joining Truth4thejourney for Thankful Thursday. The task name 5 things that I would like to thank God for today. So heres my list:

1) Being pain free!! After living through months of pain I am daily thankful to be free of pain. I can walk!

2) I am thankful for my children even the ones that are screaming!! With a teenager, preteen, a baby and a toddler that are days when I need to remind myself what a blessing that they are. Today I enjoyed the laughter of my baby as my dd entertained her. The cuteness of the toddler praying at dinner. The teenager is harder but he was nice to his sister which was something to be thankful for.

3) My wonderful husband who is a godly man and loves me! Even though that are days when I don't deserve it.
He was even kind enough to stop by the store today and pick up some tom products.

4) I am thankful for a nice warm fire on a VERY cold night. Enough said!!

5) I am thankful for my Bible study! It has been encouraging me to be in God's word daily!! Not always an easy task for me. I have recently be encouraged by another blog to try to memorize Psalms 139. Even if I never accomplish it I am loving spending time reading this Psalm and attempting to hide it in my heart!!

No time for flash cards

Another site that I just love for idea for the kids is No time for flash cards!! The site has a ton of wonderful ideas and it is so much fun to visit it every day!!

http://www.notimeforflashcards.com/

crafty crow

Every day I check this blog for craft ideas for the kids. There are tons of wonderful ideas on here!!
Check it out.
http://belladia.typepad.com/crafty_crow/

When the storm is raging all around me
You are the peace that calms
My troubled sea
And when the cares of this world
Darken my day
You are the light that shines
And shows me the way
- Beautiful Lord by Leeland

There are a few blogs that I check on often and Bring the Rain is one of them. I am so moved by Angie and all that she has been through. Tonight as I find myself unable to sleep I watched a video on her blog. I am amazed by her strength and I find myself crying at her loss. How easy it is for me to lose the focus on all that God has done for me. Lord, help me to remember that when the cares of this world darken my day you are the light that shines. Lord I life Angie up to you send her your peace. I thank you that her words can be so encouraging to me. I thank you for the 4 wonderful blessings that you have given me.

Full of faith, or having faith is the definition of faithful. Faith is essentially an act of trust or reliance on God. Rather than being passive, this leads to an active life of obedience to the one being trusted. At least that is what wikipedia tells me. But how do I live my life with faith? I am hoping that I can figure that out by blogging. 2008 really tested my faith! I had some wonderful things happen in my life (my son graduated and I gave birth to my 3 daughter). My baby was born 6 weeks early and stayed in the nicu for 11 long days! Most of the year I was in constant pain. During my pregnancy I herniated a disk in my lower back that required spinal fusion.
I often wondered during all of this where God was in my life!? I went through times of serious doubt. I was pregnant and not able to take pain meds. So at times the pain was all consuming. I prayed for healing and had other pray for me but yet I felt like God was not answering my prayers.
What I learned (or hoped that I learned) is that just because God doesn't answer my prayers the way that I want doesn't mean that He's not God. When the baby was in the hospital I would pray for the strength I needed to make it up to the 2nd floor and walk all the way to see her. I keep telling myself I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.
Looking back I see may blessing that came out of it. Many friends and family helped us out doing what ever was needed. Often some one would bring meals or come over and clean. I truly felt God moving through his 'body" of believers. My husband was another wonderful blessing through it all. He showed unconditional love even when it had to be hard. He cared for me and did so much above his normal (he is wonderful!). Since I couldn't do much but lay on my side I spent lots of time writing down Psalms when I couldn't focus long enough to read. Through it all I learned I could depend on God even when I didn't get what I wanted. I could depend on others even when it is very hard for me to do. I grew lots last year hopefully this blog will reflect me growing more this year.